Loving Makes Love

November 14, 2011



I struggled a lot with what to say today—mostly because love is such a force, such a holy mystery– and every person’s experience of loving another is so singular and unique..."

So said our dear friend Betsy, exactly 6 months ago today at our wedding.  Our wedding!  Our wedding, where Ben and I promised to continue choosing one another.

Every day, I become a bit more in awe of that holy mystery; I am amazed at how my heart continues to grow, at how exciting it is to make plans next to and with another person, at the way we take turns buoying the other.

The act of loving is always a risk, and so it seems to make us braver as we continue to do it.  Over and over, the act of loving makes me love more.

Tom Robbins puts it well:

The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only way that the mediocre and the vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that.  Loving makes love.  Loving makes itself.  Why waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love.  Wouldn’t that be the way to make love stay?

Indeed, only love has that kind of power and potential.  You can see it here in this gorgeous video made of friends of friends of ours.  And you can see it here in pictures of our friend Jesse and her wife, Heather.   And today, I celebrate that potential.

Last week I read this on Liz Fabry's blog, which I think perfectly explains the journey I've been on lately:

 [I] thought good and long about what I want from my life. What I want to have. What I want to do. And who I want to be. Then I wrote it all down like I was already living it. It sounds very new age-y, but it was amazingly invigorating.  I don't have it all worked out. I hope I never will. But I can kind of see the woman I want to become. So I'm going to start running towards her with everything I've got right now.

It's exciting running towards the woman I want to become.  And, it's exciting running towards her with the bravery that loving has given me.

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