this is romance.

February 14, 2013



Once Ben asked our friend Stephen about his plan for Valentine's Day, and his response was "everyday is Valentine's Day". It's true. Stephen and his partner of almost 30 years, Doug, show love in big, bold ways every day. I'm inspired by saps- the people who show love, appreciation, and vulnerability when it would feel safer not to.

A not-so-secret secret: love and vulnerability have little to do with flowers and candy and teddy bears (which are sortof weird for adults), or remembering to get a dinner reservation on the night everyone else in town is dining out, or even being in a romantic relationship. I mention this because I know of a lot of people who are feeling lonely, or guilty, or bummed, or pressured today. I suggest reading this Brené Brown post. She calls today 'Generosity Day.' I like it.

There is a lot expanding my heart today! Four things in particular:

1. The many people who have shown love and support to me in my most vulnerable moments. The list is long. And I don't EVER take it for granted. YOU. Thank you.

2. I got a Cooks Illustrated in the mail today. The subscription is a gift from my father-in-law. In many ways we couldn't be more different, starting with our political opinions. But, he never fails to celebrate our common ground (like our love of food), or to find an opportunity to contribute to my collection of dance books.

3. Performer extraordinaire Cynthia Hopkins' blog, where she writes about the vulnerabilities of creating her work. She's coming to town in 3 weeks with her new performance piece This Clement World. I saw a performance of hers a few years ago, at a time when I seriously wanted to quit making things. She changed my mind. I'm so grateful that she faces her demons and shares her work with the world.

4. My cats. No, I'm not joking. A secret: I don't really like cats. I got Olivia almost exactly six years ago, because I thought that caring for something regularly- other than a house plant- might make me spend more time at home and develop healthy bonds and shit. And Little was a Valentine's Day gift from Ben three years ago- a 'friend' for Olivia that she has only recently stopped hating. They are ridiculous lovers. It's impossible to be pissy about anything when you look at Little curled up in a sunbeam. And, I celebrate anything that makes me nicer and more compassionate on a daily basis.

No Ben on the list? Dude, my heart is full of that guy everyday. 

Tonight we're making homemade pizza-- probably in sweat pants. I've learned that romance sometimes mysteriously comes in the form of sweat pants. Happy Valentine's Day!

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