May 14, 2013

Today is a GREAT day. Today Minnesota becomes the twelfth state to legalize same sex marriage!!!!!!!!!!

It's a complete understatement to say that I'm thrilled. Marriage equality means that many people dear to me will have the legal rights that I somehow automatically got because I fell in love with a man. It means that they will get to file taxes with their partners, have hospital visitation privileges, share child custody and health insurance (and dozens of legal rights that you and I take for granted), and, you know, proclaim to the world that they are in it for the long haul with their partners. Yes: it's insane to think that we still discriminate in these ways. But what I'd rather fixate on are thoughts of the amazing people who fought really hard for an end to this inequality in Minnesota. My friends and fellow community members shared stories, knocked on doors, engaged in challenging dialogue, and kept insisting on LOVE. Today is a really great day.

Two years ago today I stood on the stage of a theater with an audience of loving family and friends, and married this guy. I can tell you that he's the strangest and most magical person I've ever met! There is no one who can make me laugh harder.

That was a great day. Wedding planning wasn't my thing (I'm not into crafts), and neither was engagement (so much squealing over my $20 ring, so many dress questions), but the memory of that day makes us melt a bit whenever we talk about it. The people made the day: our community. They supported our step into this new phase of life, and loved the heck out of us. They sang for us, spun records, baked cookies, arranged flowers, ran a lighting board, decorated the theater, and cheered. It was so big and joyous that we just about lost our shit before walking out into the theater.

Today has been the biggest year; maybe next year I'll feel the same way. On the most challenging days for us as individuals and partners, I've thought of all those people. I remember during our ring warming ceremony, when our friend Kristof was playing Stand By Me, and the rings were making their way through the people. Kristof ran out of song, but there were still a lot of people for the ring to get passed to. So everyone just started singing the chorus together, over and over. It was the best.

So I'm excited to raise the roof at the weddings of dear friends, and to say we're your people and we support your love, remember this on the awesome days and the hard days!  I can't think of a better thing to celebrate than love.

Here's to Minnesota. And here's to you, Ben McGinley: I'm so grateful for this marriage thing!

[photography by the amazing Emma Freeman!]


  1. You two are darling and I am heartened that you also don't much dig crafts. I don't have the patience or the passion for 'em. And I can't eat them usually.

    Hooray for Minnesota and happy anniversary, y'all.



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